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Posted by: TheMajlis
When incompatibility prevails in the home, the worst sufferers are usually the children. They are thrown into a quandary and confusion. Mother and father tread divergent paths. The children are in the middle, not really knowing which way to turn. But there is a dangerous determinant constraining them to make their choice.
Children do not follow intellect. They are basically beings of the nafs. They follow their emotions instinctively. Only fear of punishment restrains them from wrong. When they are confronted with two divergent paths —the path of the mother and the path of the father, they will invariably opt for the way which is pleasing to the nafs.
If the father’s life-style appeals to their desires, they will follow him. If the mother’s life-style is more appealing to their desires, they will follow the her. Their leader, especially if it happens to be a mother who lacks in intelligence and Islamic character will utterly ruin them. She will mislead them, not only because she herself is of loose morals, but also to spite her husband and to turn the children against him. Most women in such a situation demonize the father to the children. Since her ways suit their desires, they readily accept the falsehood their mother propagates about their father. They soon grow up with an aversion for their father. Even if they happen to be living together, they remain aloof from him.
Although sometimes an ignorant father too behaves in the same way, the incidence of mothers, due to their short-sightedness, defective intelligence and nafsaaniyat, ruining the character of their children and portraying their husbands as demons and tyrants to the children is dominant.
In the interests of the children which are among the aims or perhaps the main purpose of marriage, it is therefore essential to look at compatibility before getting married. Never be deceived by the kuffaar understanding of ‘love’. Never for one moment believe the myth that love will surmount the problems and obstacles. Whoever thinks in this way is truly an ignoramus.
The concept of love of westerners is nothing but animal lust. This loves evaporates swiftly when the incompatibility surfaces and is replaced by mutual hatred. An intelligent Muslim should never overlook this factor when it is time for marriage.
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