Posted by: TheMajlis

In most cases when husband and wife are separated, the ex-spouses are determined to resolve the custody issue of their minor children with spite and malice. Despite being mother and father to their children, who should conduct themselves with the directive of their brains in the best interests of their little children, they go to great lengths of acrimony to spite their own faces by cutting off their noses.

HARM
In the ensuing wrangle and entanglement, acrimony and venom from both sides become the order of the lives of the ex-spouses. Meanwhile the children suffer irreparable psychological, intellectual, physical and moral harm in the wake of the ridiculous and childish conduct of their parents.

This attitude is unbecoming of people who profess to love their children. Both parties should behave like adults—Muslim adults—who fear Allah Ta’ala. The past acrimonious and miserable relationship should be buried when it comes to the welfare of the minor children.

SENIORS
Both parties, being Muslim, should keep Allah Ta’ala and the Hisaab of Qiyaamah in mind. In the light of their Imaan and fear for Allah Ta’ala, intelligent decisions should be made with the assistance of senior and pious members of both families. If there are no such intelligent and experienced seniors in the family, the services of other pious men who are seniors in the community should be enlisted.

In this regard, the counselling of young molvis who have just passed out from Madrasah should not be sought. The molvi certificate does not transform the molvi into an automatic marriage counsellor. He lacks the requisite experience and the necessary taqwa for this task. Only pious and experienced seniors should be consulted in marital problems. The molvi sahib is needed only to explain the mas’alah of the Shariah. He lacks the qualifications for counselling couples floundering in marital storms.

THE RIGHT
In a separation, the mother has the right of custody over a boy child until the age of seven years. Thereafter custody automatically passes to the father.The mother has the right of custody of a girl child until the age of ten years. Thereafter it is the father’s right. The un-Islamic character and lifestyle of the spouses can disturb this arrangement. On the basis of fisq and fujoor a rightful custodian can be denied his/her right of custody.